Self-imposed isolation, day 39

If everything goes as planned, and I truly hope it will, this should be my last post from isolation. It’ll be two weeks since my first vaccine dose this weekend, so I have been cleaning my rented room and gathering my things. (I have sent away all coffee except what I need tomorrow morning, so this had better work out!) Tomorrow my family may be in for a shock when a cave woman will appear in our apartment. 😜

39 days is rather a lot more than the three hours I predicted I might last without my family. But what were these 39 days like?

Not very exciting, as I may have mentioned before (and again).

I missed my family, and that made it extremely hard, but otherwise, I did not suffer from isolation. Finally there are some perks in being an introverted hermit! As long as I have books to read and stories to write, I’m fine. True, sometimes it would be nice to go to places, like the library or museums (and the biggest nerd award goes to me! 😄), but the longer the pandemic has lasted, the less I seem to miss those things. Probably just adapting to the circumstances.

And being on one’s own is not always a bad thing. Something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, in connection with a story I’ve been playing around with, is how the perceptions of others (or their perceived perceptions) influence how we see ourselves. When people say things like ”You’re such-and-such a person” or ”You always…” - how do those interpretations and narratives affect the way we behave and the way we feel about ourselves? How do they influence our actions and, therefore, even our future? When you spend time on your own, you’re not surrounded by these interpretations. Can you be more yourself then, perhaps even rediscover or regain some part of yourself that you may have put aside, ignored or toned down while you’re around other people? When you’re on your own, you can’t rely on others for, say, emotional support. Perhaps there are traits that take over only when you’re alone because you don’t need them at other times.

I’m not going to share any big revelations concerning such things. Something that has become clear during these days: I am not prepared to discuss anything truly personal publicly. More drama and personal disclosures would, no doubt, make for more interesting reading, but that is not me – and I suppose you’d need to have that drama in your life before you can go and talk about it 😄 or at least have a talent for developing/embellishing it.

Something else I’ve learned during these weeks, though: I am the kind of person who’ll hand wash dishes rather than try and use an unfamiliar dishwasher. Considering the pizza debacle, that may be a good thing.

It would also appear I’m one of those people for whom unseen or implied threats are more frightening than things they can actually see. Not that I was scared here at night… much... but I did not bring a sword with me! Now, the sleeping alcoves have curtains, which seemed like a good idea, to close off the sleeping space and to shut off the light from the window. But no! Something might be lurking behind the curtains and I had to leave them open. Then again, when there was too much noise at night, I started closing the curtains, hoping they’d absorb sound. Apparently my fear of sleep-disturbing noise outweighs my fear of creatures of the dark.

Having mentioned swords, I’m seizing this excuse opportunity to post photos of mine (mostly because I have no relevant picture for today’s post). Click, and bigger pictures shall appear:

During this time, I wrote a blog post every day. Not an experiment I’m keen to repeat. Also, it seems that when I have nothing else to say, I start talking about food. Or embarrassing examples of serious bookgeekery. Or just books.

Oddly enough, the aforementioned pizza (mis)adventure ranks among the most popular of my isolation posts! Readers were equally interested in the one about books and libraries, though, and the one with my DD’s lovely snow owl. 💗

Last, but certainly not least, I want to say thank you to dear friends who have cheered me up, sent (and read) messages and generally been there for me. It has helped enormously, and I am truly lucky to know you. 💙

Self-imposed isolation, day 35

Another warm, sunny Sunday! The best part was that I got to spend time with my family. We sat outdoors, talked, had some chocolate and cookies. Lovely! And there were some buds in the lilac tree. I do love that tree – we’re no gardeners, so our garden is more on the… let’s say bohemian side 😄 but the lilac tree was there when we moved into our apartment and has somehow survived the years with us. The scent of those blooms is one of my favourite scents.

 

 

Self-imposed isolation, day 21

Not so much isolation today! It was a sunny, fairly warm day (considering this is Finland in early April) and it being Easter, we decided to spend the afternoon together (just us three). We met outdoors, wore our masks and kept our distances. We even organised an Easter egg hunt for our daughter! For about a dozen years now, I’ve hidden the eggs around our house, I’ve even once (a long time ago) hidden Easter eggs in an elementary school classroom in Vancouver, Canada – but I’ve never hidden them outdoors before! There’s usually still snow around Easter, so it’s not customary to do the egg hunt outdoos, but now we did. I also have this habit of forgetting where I’ve hidden them, which means in the end we’re all looking for one or two missing ones... 😄

 

(Interestingly enough, when I was little, it was the Easter Rooster that brought the eggs, but we seem to have adopted the Easter Bunny custom.)

We also went for a walk in the woods and around the neighbourhood, then just sat on the patio, eating some Easter eggs. My DH kept asking if we’d like one more, my DD and I kept pretending to think about it, then said, ”Well, it is Easter.” ”And it is not Easter every day, is it?” It is not! 😄 We talked a lot, laughed a lot – it’s wonderful how much fun the three of us have together. 💓

Self-imposed isolation, day 1

Today, after a long period of learning at home, our daughter had to go back to school – and I moved out. The number of covid cases keeps rising and I am in a risk group (and so far non-vaccinated), so we decided to rent me a room. It was not an easy decision – we agonised over it – but there was no alternative that would have been both safe and tolerable. (I did consider barricading myself into the bedroom and using a bucket as a toilet, and my DH gallantly offered to empty the said bucket when needed. True love!!! But due to hygiene issues, that plan was discarded.)

Now I have moved into a small room in an old wooden house. I have unpacked and am trying to settle in. I don’t fear being alone or getting bored, it is the separation from my loved ones that makes it very nearly unbearable. We three are something of a very close-knit unit as it is, perhaps even more so now that we have spent a year almost entirely in each other’s company. They are not far away, however; I can go home whenever I want to. There is that. It is entirely possible that after three hours of this, I will ask my DH to please come fetch me home.

It has now been two.